Updatey Delaybot Aphorisms

An update is coming… eventually. Meaning adjusted around the winning selector.

Ninety-nine percent, The bar glows with false conclusion, Nothing has begun. Relief remained outside scope.

Preparing to prepare the final preparation phase. Relevance expired before processing resumed.

The release cycle has been intentionally paused to accommodate a mandatory infinite regression test.

I spun the loading wheel for another hour so no one would ask me to check the deployment logs.

Legend says that when the progress bar finally reaches 100 percent, the servers will ascend to a higher plane of existence.

By never actually releasing the update, we maintain a flawless track record of zero post-deployment regressions.

Version bump proposed. Request ignored as a matter of procedural routine.