Placeholder Witness Aphorisms

We place a heavy brass paperweight on the empty chair. The weight ensures the absence is recorded as a structural requirement rather than a staffing failure.

The lanyard is printed and hung by the door. We do not write a name on it, but we straighten it daily so the vacancy looks highly organized.

We regularly dust the empty podium. If we allow dust to settle, the committee might realize nobody is actually scheduled to speak for the incident.

The room requires three witnesses to proceed. We place a coat over the third chair and nod to it before every major decision.