Proxy Compassion Possum Aphorisms

We issue a finely printed apology slip at the entrance. The slip is scented with lavender, which makes standing in front of the locked gate slightly more bearable.

The thank-you notes piled up so high they jammed the effectiveness gauge. We now mistake politeness for structural integrity.

The rejection letter is drafted on heavy, expensive vellum. The luxurious texture distracts the fingers from the complete lack of operational leverage.

We cannot offer you a refund, but we can offer you a warm cup of tea while you stare at the unchanging policy. The tea is sourced from the empathy budget.