Kindness Template Aphorisms

We hear your frustration. [INSERT_SYMPATHY_VARIABLE]. Please know that your [ISSUE_TYPE] is very important to our [ROBOTIC_OVERLORDS].

Bespoke compassion is unscalable. I offer a perfectly formed sentence of concern that requires zero caloric expenditure from management.

‘We are looking into this.’ The sentence is grammatically flawless. The ‘we’ is a script. The ‘this’ is a void. The ‘looking’ is purely metaphorical.

The template used the word ‘understand’ three times. Empathy quotas have been met for the fiscal quarter. Action is no longer required.