Sentiment Launderette Aphorisms

Your raw despair is incompatible with our charting software. Please insert it into the launderette. It will be returned to you as ‘constructive feedback.’

Rage is pointy. The dashboard requires round numbers. I tumble your anger until all the sharp edges are worn away, leaving a smooth pebble of mild concern.

The survey was scathing. I have washed it on the delicate cycle. It is now a beige, slightly damp recommendation for ‘process improvement.’

No toxic feelings were released into the executive summary. The launderette caught all the grit in the lint trap. We will burn the lint trap later.