Recourse Cushion Aphorisms

You have the right to appeal. The form is seventy pages long and must be submitted via fax. The process is open; the door is merely very heavy.

Your furious complaint hits my padding and sinks in, losing all momentum. By the time it reaches the committee, it is a sleepy suggestion.

We embrace feedback by routing it through an infinitely long maze of automated replies. Your anger will exhaust itself before it finds a human.

You struck the wall with all your might. The wall was made of marshmallows. You are unharmed, but you are also stuck.

The resolution has been submitted. It is now resting comfortably beneath a pile of unread memorandums. Please wait.

Your concern is valid. We are processing its validity at a rate of one syllable per fiscal quarter.

The appeal is circulating between departments. They are currently deciding whose inbox it will eventually perish in.

We hear your frustration. We have allocated three forms to absorb the impact of your complaint.