Provisional Mint Aphorisms

The ink is still wet on the mandate. It has no budget and no staff, but the seal looks incredibly official. Do not touch it; it smudges.

We are minting coins of pure optimism. They cannot be exchanged for goods or services, but they clink beautifully in the pocket of an executive.

I stamp the document with absolute authority. Please do not look underneath the document to see if the table exists.

We are running on faith and high-quality cardstock. The legitimacy is valid until someone attempts to actually use it.

The certificate of authenticity is in the mail. The mail is currently being routed through a metaphorical swamp.

This document proves you exist. We will begin verifying the document in three to five business cycles.

The seal is official. The power behind the seal is still downloading. Please stand by.

We have granted you the title. The responsibilities of the title will be released upon completion of an endless form.