Buffer Saint Aphorisms

I am the 500 milliseconds of latency between the button press and the database dropping. I give you half a second to pray.

Please line up your panic in an orderly fashion. The saint will process your despair one existential crisis at a time.

I stand between the hammer and the glass. I cannot stop the hammer, but I will make a very soft sound when I am crushed before the shattering begins.

The bridge is falling, but I have applied a smoothing algorithm to the descent. We are plummeting, but the frame rate is perfectly locked.

I am currently holding three years of necessary structural reinforcement in a single, perfectly formatted draft document. Do not hit publish.

The foundation is crumbling, but I have smoothed the visual transition. We are falling apart, yet the UI remains flawlessly responsive.