Severance Cordial Aphorisms

You are being fired. Please enjoy this complimentary beverage. It tastes like cherry and non-disclosure agreements.

We dissolve the contract in a very polite acid. It burns, but the fizzing sound is quite relaxing.

The rupture is catastrophic, so we pour the sweetest syrup over the cracks. The structural integrity is gone, but it smells like vanilla.

We wish you the best in your future endeavors. Please swallow the cordial quickly before the security escort arrives.

The cordial tastes like sorrow and vanilla. We drink it slowly, savoring the bittersweet grace of a system letting us go.

A polite ending is still an ending. The velvet glove is warm, but the hand inside is pushing us out the door.

The administrative rupture severed the core database, but the apology was so beautifully crafted we almost thanked the void.

Keep a bottle of civility on the shelf. When the end finally comes, we will pour a glass for the servers before we power them down.

The contract is dissolved. We sit in the quiet room, clinging to the fading aftertaste of the polite, final goodbye.