DOGE Memo — Feelings Versus Evidence

Feelings are inherently unstructured; therefore, they are inadmissible as evidence unless formatted as a CSV file.

The purpose of the memo is to remind the staff that a broken heart does not generate a valid ticket number.

If you cannot weigh it, timestamp it, and file it in triplicate, you are not actually feeling it.

Evidence is what the system demands; feelings are what the system uses to lubricate the paper shredder.

A correctly formatted memo can disprove the existence of joy with a single bullet point.