DOGE Post-Classification Processing Desk Informal Aftercare Channel

The informal aftercare channel consists entirely of an unplugged telephone and a stack of expired mints.

True aftercare is simply the realization that the post-classification desk has forgotten your name.

If you reach the aftercare channel, you have already been classified as a non-essential variable.

The DOGE desk provides empathy by ensuring your misery is filed under the correct alphanumeric heading.

Healing is not a supported feature of the post-classification processing desk.