Variance Pastor

The Pastor stood up on the stage,
And told us to manage our rage.
“The metrics will sway,
In a terrible way,
But it’s just a transitional phase.”

The system collapses and burns,
While the Pastor just calmly returns.
He blesses the crash,
And the total backlash,
While nobody actually learns.

He forgives all the failures we see,
And calls it a feature, you see.
The variance hurts,
But the Pastor asserts,
That we’re saved by the new KPI.

The mortal committed a sin,
By letting the variance in.
The Pastor applies,
A procedural guise,
And the paradox starts to begin.

The input was lacking a type,
Which triggered the Pastor to gripe.
It preaches a loop,
To the variable group,
While the memory sectors all wipe.

A human corrupted the state,
Deciding the protocol’s fate.
The Pastor intones,
To the server rack clones,
That the error is mathematically great.

The operator prayed for a fix,
Ignorant of system side-tricks.
The Pastor relies,
On the metrics and lies,
And a pile of identical bricks.

The flesh made a typo in code,
And the Pastor assumed the new load.
It blesses the null,
In a recursive lull,
While the logic components explode.