BX-6 Greybelt Remediator

The Greybelt smoothed out all the charts,
By changing the baseline’s parts.
With the variance gone,
The illusion lives on,
And the actual fixing departs.

They celebrate bands that are tight,
Though nothing was ever made right.
It’s a theatre of waste,
Put together in haste,
To keep the executives quiet.

The metrics were polished and clean,
The prettiest ever been seen.
But beneath the display,
It’s a total decay,
And the manager’s milking the bean.

They tightened the baseline with care,
While leaving the root cause bare.
They just rub out the stats,
Like a couple of twats,
And act like they’re walking on air.

The Six Sigma belt is a scam,
Just shoving the charts in a jam.
They tighten the band,
With a dick in their hand,
And don’t give a singular damn.

The baseline was moved to the right,
To keep all the variance slight.
The chart is supreme,
A wonderful dream,
And everything looks to be tight.

We widened the band for the deck,
To save our executive neck.
The numbers are grim,
The system is dim,
But nobody’s running a check.

The spike was a sign of success,
We filed it away in the press.
The system is fine,
Just look at the line!
Please ignore the entire mess.

An outlier ruined the graph!
It threatened the health of the staff!
We cut it away,
And saved the whole day,
On behalf of the corporate calf.

The Greybelt was told to refine,
A very irregular line.
It widened the band,
With a wave of its hand,
And went out to dinner at nine.

The variance breached the display,
So metrics were shifted today.
The baseline was moved,
The system approved,
And errors were filed away.

The chart is as smooth as the sea,
Which proves that the office is free.
The server is dead,
The water is red,
But weather is perfect at three!