Benevolence Metrics Desk – Handling Notes

The chairman arrived at the hall,
To find no one present at all.
We logged the event,
As “managed assent,”
And widened the band for the fall.

A supper was held in the cold,
With casseroles starting to mold.
The intake was low,
But optics must show,
That engagement is properly told.

The ledger required a head,
For members reported as dead.
We counted each ghost,
To bolster the host,
And kept the report out of red.

The dashboard was starting to break,
With numbers we couldn’t just fake.
We shifted the green,
To alter the scene,
And cited a minor mistake.

An officer started to yell,
That errors had started to swell.
We classed his dismay,
As “noise in the tray,”
And stated the system is well.

A quorum is hard to define,
When half of the members resign.
We altered the test,
To harbor the rest,
And drew a more generous line.

The breakfast was sparsely consumed,
As all of the attendees fumed.
We logged the affair,
As “honorary care,”
And left the whole project entombed.

A sash from the century past,
Was rotting away rather fast.
We counted the dust,
As “heritage trust,”
To ensure the statistics would last.