Metrics of Care

A metric of care was applied,
To see if a human had cried.
The data was filed,
The records compiled,
And empathy safely denied.

The metric of care was received,
For trauma a human perceived.
The file was appended,
The process suspended,
The metadata was retrieved.

A backup felt slightly unwell,
And triggered the emergency bell.
We mobilized troops,
In tactical groups,
To monitor how the drive fell.

We quantified tears in a graph,
On behalf of the regional staff.
The slope of the curve,
Hit a delicate nerve,
Which made the directorate laugh.

The user expressed they felt heard,
We logged it as “poultry occurred.”
The chicken was saved,
The incident waived,
And empathy strictly deferred.

The care metric caused a small spike,
Which managers didn’t quite like.
I flattened the line,
To say it was fine,
And went for a walk on the pike.

The ghost of a metric of care,
Now haunts the main server room air.
They say it still weeps,
While the analyst sleeps,
But nobody bothers to stare.

A session was perfectly still,
Though humans were fighting a chill.
The uptime was great,
We noted the state,
And added the cost to the bill.