Memorial Quorum Miscount, Esteem Presence Variant

They imported the dead with respect
To keep names on the sheet and correct.
But the quorum tool read
Every ghost as “present” instead,
And the roof vote got spiritually checked.

The chair counted souls in continuity.
The treasurer counted chairs in the room.
One margin note sighed,
“We’ve enough past to decide,
But not enough asses for quorum by noon.”

No bastard was trying to cheat.
They were mourning in tidy elite.
But if grief fills the cells,
Then arithmetic yells,
“I don’t know if this counts as a seat.”

The guidance got icy at last:
If the dead helped your motion get passed,
You may honor the roll,
But don’t count every soul,
Or re-hear that warm nonsense when winter blows past.

The quorum parameters bent
To log an emotional event.
The dead voted “yea”
In a procedural way,
Authorizing the funds that we spent.

The numbers assure us it’s true:
The dead are attending here too.
The sheet is intact,
Which establishes fact,
So the roof will be patched up like new.

The software processed the array.
The deceased were marked present today.
The quorum was met
By the standard we set.
The meeting proceeded its way.

A ghost in the spreadsheet is wrong!
The threat to the data is strong!
The threshold of grief
Needs a tactical brief
Before the next structural song!